Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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