You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
