I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
