is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
