ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
