An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
