no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
