No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
