in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
