haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
