I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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