Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
