It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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