There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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