how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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