FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
