ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
