Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This is classic penis vs brain.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
