That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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