I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
