Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
