I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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