it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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