So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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