I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Come back. Shots need mouths.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
