Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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