Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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