Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
