no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
