mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
