Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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