is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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