they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
