This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
