you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
