I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
