North Korea, Best Korea!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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