Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
