weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize