I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
