You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
