Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
