so that wasnt chicken after all
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wear drunk well.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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