The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
