I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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