People in love make me want to vomit
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
