In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
