Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
