atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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