sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
