He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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