i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
