ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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