Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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