her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My pussy is not your playground.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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