Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
