Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
