Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
