is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
