when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
